What I am Listening to: Only When I Lose Myself- DM
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7:25 pm

well its the day before the big ball and that day before I meet my sub for the night.. I have been chatting with him on and off and I am still nervous.. mainly cause I til to be when I meet new people.. I am going with a group.. so there is a small get together before we all get ready for the night to go.... not to be mean and I have talked to him briefly on the phone, but I still wish it were tomtom and J... I don't think I would be nervous at all with either one of them, course I have not meet them either.. but I have been talking to them, well tomtom for months and J for over a year....

speaking of tomtom... he is such a sweetie I email him when I just want to write about more personal things, I know he is very busy this month... so I expect an answer anytime soon.. but he did email me back to thank my for my ramblings ( yeah I am going to get him for that one, but I know I ramble) and to tell me that he will be out of town again for a while...that he thinks to do that means a lot to me..... I am not going to talk about your know who too much anymore... not that is doesn't still hurt, it does but it is really time to move on.. and I don't want to view other though the lens of his faults. its not fair to them.... that issue of people leaving me is my own... I had a long talk with my mother about relationships (in general) and I feel better now... no my mother doesn't know I am a Domme.. though I do think that she would be that one family member that would take it in stride...

now I think my family hates that fact that I won't buy any new clothes my grandmother bought me a new tommy outfit and only told me she wanted to give me something, so I wouldn't know til I got over there... I think she just wanted to see me in something that fit... and my granny got it so I am wearing it, plus it is nice my granny like me is a libra so she has great taste *grin* and everyone at work was saying how tiny I now looked.. (yeah wearing clothes that fit) its in red and black, my fave colors after blue.... well all the diet suppliments I was taking started to make me sick, I think too many started to build up in my system.. so I stopped takeing everything.... for a while.. still on my diet just not taking all that other stuff... and what do you know, started to lose more weight again...only 6 more pounds.. but it was somethings... plus I have added a half carb day.. for one meal once a week I can have a carb that I really want.... reg candy.. fries... this week I had chinese take out ribs, the carbs are the reg sause that they put on them has a lot of sugar in it... see still watching but just a little treat as well... next week I think I will have just a little of reg pasta.. with my no carb afredo sauce.. and I have low carb pasta but it really doesn't taste that good... but I will probably cut that reg serving in half... pasta has tons of carbs.....I have also gone back to coffee and then taking my coffee drinking to a new level... I got a pressed coffee maker and organtic coffee beans..... I even brought it to work... me that the Librarian that works on sat.. she is bring that spring water for.. yeah I really love coffee that much....

well I go home later tonight... but I still have to de-hair my legs all the way up... and I don't like to shower right after, so i will do that.. then go to bed.... my date told me by that time that we get to the club he will be in full sub-mode... to me.. so I want my legs smooth under the fishnets thigh-highs.. which I must say that even my legs look good in.. I have to get more of those things.. and I have gaters as well... yeah I am going all out....so we will see how it goes. I ask that Goddess for no heartburn.. I had that all week.. but for today... miss you tomtom