What I am Listening to:
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6:48 pm

ok I know its been a long time since I wrote anything but a lot has been going on some very bed and some kind of bad and some good... life can be like that sometimes.

the very bad.. well my dad who is a drug addict is in that hospital and I for one have always had mixed feelings about him even though I love him I mean he is still my dad.. he lost all his toes due to ganggreen(sp) and and is not told he has a bad heart all this year of him saying he was dieing his favorite quote, it might just be true and I think he realized that he doesn't really want to die... my sister bless her who is buying a house has told him that he can stop living in the crackhouse which is where we found out he was living and come live with her I feel very guilty about that cause I couldn't do it.. take him in that is but I glad that she will I can't even live with him again.. and maybe that makes me a bad person I don't know but I just can't make myself do it.. not that I can in anycase... so that is one that that is on going

as for the kind of bad.. well my Doctor informed me that I have have a cell change on my cervix.. what doe that mean.. well it could mean nothing.. or it could be cancer forming I have to wait 6 months to see which it is and if it grows... why is this only sort of bad well if it is cancer it was caught soon enough that removing it won't be a hard thing... but it does make one think about life mostly about what I haven't done...

which brings me to my good news I think I will be going to greece next summer one of my co-workers who I get along with really well has a friend with a place there and said to her visit anytime brings you friends and she said that when she goes if I want to come I am welcome to do so and that she would like me know so all I have to do is plance fare and food and no hotel cost...which was always on my list as one of the places to see before I die.. along with paris no sure why I haven't gone there yet, I think its cause I want to see it with someone I love... and less just say a trip to paris isn't in the cards right now...