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6:50 pm

Song of the day: Drive Incubus

I got my feelings badly hurt today, I showed someone a pic that I had and they were repulsed, they didn't say so flat out, that would have been easier I think. The hurt was a shock I don't think I have ever been cut up like that before, it make me doubt badly.

Then later someone asked me to do something that was against my nature, I didn't know how much so til I did it, which is the reason I did it, to find out.

I am not going to say what it was it is enough that I know. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, Many things could have made me step back but the is the one, the big one I don't know if I can do it. I use to think it was fear, up until today I would have swore it was fear that stopped me, I was wrong I was very very very wrong its not fear that stopped me. It was doing something that is against my nature to do.

The person I am talking about knows who they are and I know that you might read this, if you did what you did to make me go away, I would rather you were straight with me, if it was a test of equals that is another story, cause there has to be rules no matter what the game. You can't ask me what you are unwilling to give, cause you haven't given it. To do what I did cost me greatly, I paid a price for it what will you pay?

Cause nothing if free.