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4:35 pm

Ok this is about Mon, which was the day of the Full moon

I can in and logged on and surprize surprize I find my fave online

for those that don't my my fave is short for my fave sub who is a switch (both dom and sub) he is only sub to me, at first I waited to see if he would say anything to me he had been acting wierd that last few times we chatted, and I wanted to know what was up, but I wanted to know that favor of the day and about two hours when by before he said hi, of course me being me I thought:

this is an act if he doesn't want to chat with me anymore why going on e with this song and dance thing (my emotional-side) now me being me I am not ruled totally by that side of myself so I also though, before I go running off on this lets see what is up

what had happened this weekend was I was looking for a gift to buy him for Yule (I'm a pagan) and I don't keep secrets well so i asked him about what he had, that gift I was thinking of getting was a DVD player not a real costly gift but more that a card or book

mind you also I am the kind of person that I will buy gifts for people I care for just if I see something they would like

He freaked! it was the wierdest thing, he was almost begging me not to buy him anything saying that he only wanted to do for me not me for him

I took this as wrong as wrong as a person can take this

1. I thought that he didn't see me and a real person

2. that he didn't view me as a friend as well

3.that is a brought some that cost more that a few bucks than is was too big a string for him

4.he was trying to ends things, didn't know how and that just mess things up

I do try to tell people I am a bit nutty, and that I do listening to every little thing they do and say, I maybe not be right (so unlikely) but I am always listening, unless I say otherwise

I was very wrong about all of this on him

1. he sees me as very real ( mind you I do have this prob with others)

2. he does think of me as a good friend as well

3. this one was tricky, I am not rich, but I work more steady than he does he is an actor so I can plan on buying something that cost a little more.... and I think he feels like he is not doing enough for me (he does) but also being a man he think he should buy the stuff

I will prob still buy it, cause one should not turn down gifts from ones Goddess (that is just not done

4. he wan't in any way trying to end things, in fact he had been stressed over thet last couple of days, and thanksed me for always being there for him

That just melted my heart.......