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9:24 am

Ok about my Dom side...

Ok in-between the time the first time I met puppy and before he left me that first time and when I first started learning hypno.... I met this guy online... he appointed himself my mentor. I have no Idea why. I still don't but I have been a friend with him ever since, when I come across something in my reading that doesn't make sense, or it seems like Greek to me

I take it to him and he can always make it make sense to me

I never really wanted to go under myself (after I really understood it) but he talked me into it, saying the best way to understand it is to know what it feels like...but I really didn't like the thought of being under someone's control.... but he gained my trust in that, was not what he was trying to do, and told me this is what he will do... he will get me in- touch with the part of me that is Domme

and he did... she is in a room in my head

she looks like me, and not like me, her hair is longer and wavy, she loves leather and whips... she is taller than me, and when I do something that you can almost see a wicked smile.. that is her she is just DIVA .. The Goddess.... oddly enough she also holds some of my pagan power, she is me and not me at the same time

Sidenote: I have always know I don't use all the power I have, that there was something inside me that stops me, or I stop short of....part of that is my dark-side. And yes I do have a dark side, it can be a bit scary

Anyway her room is done in reds and black and purples she loves those colors, with a little green,

she has always been inside me (always had that side of myself), but I don't think fully formed ( a full voice) till the hypno and she gain a voice, why I talk about her in the third person, it was weird for the longest time a voice in my head... that would say all kinds of stuff,...... it was she who tease the most...I was fine with being called Mistress it was she who wants to be Goddess..... I didn't realize till now that little by little the room she is in has gotten bigger.....the door is gone....about 3 or 4 times the size it was..... and it was her that told my roomie to go...... and her that crossed more and more personal limits I had with puppy.....I have been planning to re-decorate my bedroom for the longest time..... she picked the colors.. that ones that are her room...... it is she that keeps me on this diet without cheating.... and wants to workout so bad.....

I told me mentor she kind of scares me cause she wants out of that room forever, and I felt like she was taking over. And if she did... would there be anymore of me left?...she wants a tattoo Goddess in Chinese.... he pointed out to me that she is me, and she want to be a part of the whole, and not buried.... said I would have to do this......but to be careful in doing so.. as she may have me do something she wants, but I wasn't ready to do

I don't really look like her in body, she is working on changing that. she is a bit ruthless in her wants... the pagan power that she holds.... is so much stronger now..... I am Libra air sign.... but my Venus my passions are in Leo fire sign.... Queen of everything......she thinks everyone wants her, how can they not� is she not wonderful?... (how she thinks)....when I sit on the fence about things.... she hates that.... when I get nervous it is she who pushes..... I am more her now than me.... I think there was a time when I was more her before...

I don't know if any of that sense.... maybe it is my Gemini moon that makes me able to split a bit like that, every Gemini I know can split more so than that

it does scare me, but the power surge I get from it wow!. but I think once she is out this time it will be forever.....