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7:04 pm

goodness, why are the subs being so diffcult?..... please use me... please play with me.....Gee Goddess aren't you over that yet?

Sure let me just rip this useless heart out of my chest, so you all can just use me.....I am so sick of that shit!

I am still mad at lot now, even at puppy.. I mean he leaves me hanging, just not saying anything... well I have sent emails, I would call, but the one time I didn't he didn't seem to "want" to talk... so like all the rest, if he wants me he will have to seek me.. and if not, *sigh* then not

in other wierd news I am on the list from hell.... I wedding list, I have so far won two contest, that I didn't sign up for..... and I keep getting all the mail and email.... if I didn't know better I would think that fates where trying to tell me something.... really scary though.... my student help is also getting married, so she spents a lot of time talking about it... Goddess she even sucked me in a few times looking at dresses.... ( and I am just much a gypsy in that) if I had a choice I think I would run to vegas.... or do something very very pagan.... oh no! I am not getting married, so it doesn't matter, I don't even have a boyfriend....oh I have been asked about 6 times in all, not one meant it, not one!... would I get married, I don't know, thier is only one I loved enough to even think about the, and that is not an option....

but its ok, I have always known I would never marry, Mistresses don't marry, we just fade.. I plan when I get old, to one still Dom, but live in the semi Country.... I am too much a city-girl to live too much in it.... but I love animals, and I want a horse and dog and feret, and cat, that takes space... hey this is my dream,... one can just fall in love with a horse, I don't even know how to ride, but they are so... *grin*

well plus I am a pagan, I want a out of doors alter....so green with tons and tons of flowers....

Didn't know Doms could be girlie, live and learn my pets... I am as girlie as they come in some way..... and Dom? step on my flowers and see what happens

oh well I am done I don't know if I will write tomorrow,I think I will clean up my place and do my wash