What I am Listening to: The only time | NIN
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3:44 pm

ok, well I am doing much much better, I have not talked about puppy in a few days, cause I need to come back to myself, I feel much more like myself, not drowning in my emotions, which I don't like to do, it good to know I can go that deep, but I can't live there, not when it not happy.

Have I giving up on him, no, I don't know if I ever will, I love him, that is just the long and short of it....

but I will not stop living... I am not ready to go back to all I was doing, in a way I am starting over, Fave wants me to do stage hypnosis shows, and I am thinking about it, you never know right?

thinking I draw people to me even when I am not trying, of late it has just been silly,... but I have gotting a hell of a lot more bitchy, and I kinda like that part.

my diet is still going well, in fact I was talking to a old beau (look it up you pleasants)who I was half in love with before puppy, he stood me up, but I never hold grudges (long) and he said

1. he never would have stood me up if he knew I had feelins for him

Now that is very easy to say now that a year has gone by but its ok, course too, he let me know he is still foot loose and fancy free,

he is Irish, and I do love the irishmen, he has the best voice, even if I don't understand all that he says, but he did stand me up, and all I wanted was coffee at the time..

the one thing he did do that was so sweet, I told him of my diet, and he almost panicd, he doesn't want me to lose anymore weight, he likes me cushy, I mean you just gotta love that, and he was kinky... lovely irishman *grin*

there has been this one local sub, who for some reason, wants me so bad, or should I say my feet... chats me everyday, I am bitchy to him most of the time, but still he comes around.....

well my horniness is playing with me I will give in...to him? I don't know.. I wanted it to be puppy.... not someone I would just fuck and tell to get out... (that is where I am emotional)

in the meantime I am relearning hypnosis, I have not done it in a while, and my fave is getting real excited by the thought of me trancing tons and willing pets *grin* (hypno is so his fetish) so we will see,I have to get some willing live subjects...*evil grin* the realing I have to to, if I get good enough, it will be able to put people under in a few seconds.. that will be fun!