What I am Listening to: can't fight the moonlight -LeAnn Rimes
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10:42 am

ok lesson well learned... never go into a chatroom if you only have a half hour to chat....I don't know what it is but if I go in one just to watch, I always get in IM hell!... but it looks like I might have made a local friend.. Domme.. which is what I wanted I want to find out more about the local scene... but I really don't want to start going to clubs alone.. not that I won't, I just don't want to call it a hunch but I don't think that would be a good idea....

well as for what has been going on with me not that my house guest from hell is gone I have been get use to being alone again... which is a a little wierd.. I have not jumped back into my social life yet ie. sex.... I have not found the right person.. that is close.. or planned a trip yet.....but the freedom of knowing that I can had put me in a much better mood over all....

I am still a bit fustrated over my diet...I and stuck at this plateau.. I am more excise first I don't want to try the pills again.... wierd affect on me...but I am up to 300 crunches now every other day.. and I well also walk more I did feel my energy level pick back up, so I will keep my fingers crossed on it... I did take a bunch of new pics.. cause I finially don't thing I look awful nude.. no the pics aren't nude.. lets not go that far.. I still have far to go I just think I am not gross (to myself) anymore

now as for my pets... well I don't know what has happened again to puppy.. and though I do love him... his treatment of me as just a person sucks.. so even if he does choose to come back I am not sure if I want him back... I think he is running away from himself... and it is just such a waste of time.. mine and his... *sigh*...though I think I will always lust for the man....but I have been moving on to those.. who do, make time for me...(no matter how busy they are) like my tomtom...ahhhh *wicked smile*

he is just... when I get into my Domme-space with him it is very hard to come out of it again.. and yesterday it seemed to me that we moved to a deeper level... I chat with him about once a week... but he always makes it worth my wild... I always ask him his planns for the day... I am not cruel in that I expect someone to drop all their plans for me... but it helps me keep track of time for them... and after a really good hypno session with him.... I told me that he had planned an evening out with some friends.... but if I didn't want him to go he would cancel...I was already in my Domme-space with him... but him saying that took me deeper... I asked if he planned to eat.. and what.. and told him in general what kind of meal he could have.. and if he wanted dessert, how much of it he could eat.. telling him that.. had me on the edge of desire.. that he would give me that much control over him....and to think that all though his seeming normal night out with his friends.. I would be there in that back of his mind... as he followed my orders....this is so what I have wanted for so long....

Now I have not forgotten my J my fave, he is still around in his Dom mode but that is ok *smile* I know I can pull him under any time I want, he knows it as well, he is very happy with me right now he says I have grown so much since the beginning,, and yes that is true I think I have as well... I have a more clear view of what I want..no don't ask me to put it into words, as that is not always easy to do....but I can see my own path now *smile*