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3:48 pm

well I went to my first real meet and greet, the other before that ball was really small, though I think I think I met the best people at that one.. I am finding that I am having a little bit of a hard time lossing up, even when I'm 3 sheets to the wind which I was last night,... but that may be cuae of it is a lot of new stuff at once.. I am oline today cause I still have to write a new script for subbie boy,.... though I kinda get the feeling I am a wait stop til he can find someone who is more of a sadist than me.... though it could just be like me he doesn't open up easy... but it has been only a week... and I have not beat him yet, much to his disppointment... I was going to last night, but he had to be up early and could not stay over for me to do so.... but I am learning a lot over all and I really like that.. and I find I take my BDSM a lot more serious than others.. and it is nice to go to a party and not be the only big girl there..course I am not as big as I use to be.. I went into V.secrets today I was looking over things for subbie boy... but I tried on a few things myself.. and though I am still plus sized there were things there I could were pretty things... I think I time for new unddie......

I did give subbie boy some things to do this week, he was saying how he wanted to know what it would be like to be a woman.. well I gave him some facial stuff and nail care, that he has to do that daily up keep on.. and I think I need to check on this to make sure he does use it everyday.... I think sometimes, I don't think they will do it. I think that is why I walk a bit on eggs shells.... that pluss the fear that I will be dropped like a stone when some better comes along.. which is why its hard to let go and just do the things I want.... but I am working on it