What I am Listening to:
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11:32 am

I was talking to my aunt.. and she told me something I am not sure I believe.. and if it, is true I'm not sure how to feel about that

she told me that my father had talked about sexually abusing me and my sister before.. now if he did say anything like that he had to be drunk to say it to her...

that reason I am not sure if it true or not.. both of my aunt thought the issues I had with my father were of that nature til I told them otherwise.. and why would that think that?

the reason I don't really believe it my dad is a asshole, but he has never touched me or really said anything to me when I was younger that I remember, that was along those lines.. he was abusive.. but not in that way

but if it is true what does it matter now, he never did any thing like that...though I also don't know how to feel about that.... which makes me not want to believe it

di I think my aunt lied to me? no.. but maybe she told something he said the wrong way... but then my other aunt thought that same thing and ask me about it...

and I wonder why she told me this... I mean I know that really don't like each other.. and she knows I only put up with him as little as I can.. but why tell me this.. in that middle of all the stuff that is going on with my grandmother..

you know is a way it just really fucked up.. I mean I have enough issues with my dad as it is.. why throw that in too.. and why try to mess my head up that way... but then I think she thought the same thing about my uncle.. in fact I think maybe my granddad was more awful that just being a asshole.. you know what I don't want to know all this I really don't... somethings don't need to be told if they were never done