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8:50 pm

I was talking to one of my online subs today. and he was asking me why I hide my feelings from him... and the truth is a lot of the time I hide them from myself as well...cause if you ignore them it won't hurt as much when they leave you... and they always leave you....then he told me something that shocked the shoes off me.. that he felt possessive of me... I don't like real jealousy, but that he was possessive shocked me.... it says he cares... I don't know how to deal with that....

the sad part is I am so use to no one caring of believing that they don't, not really anyway... it not fun to think no one cares but you get use to it and then it can be a comform zone, you always know not to expect anything cause you won't get it anyway... less hurt that way..