What I am Listening to: Depeche Mode Judas (posted at the end)
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4:27 pm

ok ok I know I am crazy

and I was in that suckest mood this morning, but things have picked up... and maybe its a dum thing to do on my part, but I have my safety measures in place a guy from Bondage is coming into twon for the week and wanted to know if I would Dom him.. now most times I say no to fly-bys as I call them... but like a said I was in a crappy mood, and I really needed a pick me up.. and he was cute... and he is a slave not a sub... this is not for sex... but I want to be worshiped and catered to for a fucking change.. course this doesn't mean that he won't stand me up either... but ay least he gave me some many damn pictures I can not think about that til it happens

now to be fair my bodybuild guy had a very good reason to canceling, and I am not mad at him...

and Tgirl, I'm not sure what happened to him I will let you know when I talk to his roommate tonight...

its more I am just tired of being disppointed... which is stupid I know cause it not like that won't happen over and over...

plus if I am honest I was also a bit mad at spin... I told him right off I was in a crappy mood, I didn't take it out on him.. but I was also a bit down and told him why.. and he told me he was in a not so great mood himself I took this to mean that something was wrong, so I asked, and when you ask anyone the first time they always say nothing... so I asked again...

and then he yelled at me...

I mean I could not give a shit and never ask anything... but not I put aside my crappy mood to see what was wrong in his world.. and I don't even get a thanks for caring.... now when I totally back away from him for hurting my feelings, I am the wrong one... but he won't think that he hurt my feelings while he was being nasty...

no I am the one being distant

I am just tired of people treating me like I have no feelings, Being Dome doesn't mean I can't be hurt just like anyone else.. it just means I hide it better and tend to keep it to myself

But what I really tend to think is that you really don't give a damn

I still wait for the one that gets this song:

(and you all should look at the song when I post them... they really say a lot of what I am thinking at the time)

Depeche Mode Judas lyrics

Is simplicity best

Or simply the easiest

The narrowest path

Is always the holiest

So walk on barefoot for me

Suffer some misery

If you want my love

If you want my love

Man will survive

The harshest conditions

And stay alive

Through difficult decisions

So make up your mind for me

Walk the line for me

If you want my love

If you want my love

Idle talk

And hollow promises

Cheating Judases

Doubting Thomases

Don't just stand there and shout it

Do something about it

You can fulfil

Your wildest ambitions

And I'm sure you will

Lose your inhibitions

So open yourself for me

Risk your health for me

If you want my love

If you want my love

If you want my love

If you want my love