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7:02 pm

ok today didn't have a very good start my mother cat which she has had since it was a kitten died this morning in her arms... ok I was upset too he was keyeyens.. or so I always called him... I loved that cat he was such a lap cat.. would just let you sit and pet him for hours.. when I lived at home he always spen half the night with me and half the night with my mother... and now he is gone, my mother was crying so hard she could hardly tell me... you don't have to wonder where I get my love of animals from.. so I met my mother at the mall and we went to a movie to make us both feel better.. and had a smoothie and blew both of our diets.. but we do feel better, I know my mom is still feeling guilty she thinks she could have done more... my mom loves that hell out of that cat she made that cat soups just to get it to eat... no she could of don't any more... she was going broke in vet bills... but I can't talk I keep my cats water in that frig cause I know she likes it cold... I would do that same things

so after a afternoon of grief and a movie I came to work.. and my puppy was online which I was happy about I needed a hug even a cyber one, no I didn't tell him about that cat.. I didn't want to talk of it... and then as always I get caught up in him... which is good I can forget for a while... plus I don't always get to talk to him on Fridays so it makes the missing him a little better not much but a little.

then one of my locals comes on line to ask me about my scene date last night.. which was pretty good.. I didn't do a whole lot as I don't realy know him.. he had a very nice body though and most of him was tanned *grin* no sex on my part.. and I didn't know him but a bit a anal play but over all he was good, I need to spank a bit of ass and he brought me a gift a leash.. *smile* and I guess I was a good DOm for him as he asked to come back and or call next week *smile*...

speaking of gifts I looking in my mail today and saw I had something to pick up and I was thinking that it was my coffee... yeah I get coffee in that mail... but that not what it was.. what it was, it was a gift from my puppy, probably the second nicest thing I have ever got from a guy in my life, the first being my cat ivy... he was a gift from a now ex.. but that best thing I ever got to date...

now I know a lot of girls would think of it as such but you gotta remember who and what i am, he got me a strap-on in cherry red leather...

that was the one thing he promise to to do, and now he did it... you know he does scare me at times not his being sub... but cause right now I know him what he is what he is about where things are... I not sure what to do if that changes... which brings me back to that local I was talking to.. he suprized me big time today.. he asked me what I would do if there where no limits between us I didn't know what to say.. I wondered why, and what it meant.. and he asked if he scared me I said no.. but that truth is really yes.. cause I don't know what that means.. I mean I just got use tot he way things are.. not how I play cause one can always due new things there.. but I am just use to over all the way things are.. I know now that I will never have a local sub and I am now ok with that...

in all honesty I wouldn't if someone really wanted me to keep them... I mean no one has ever wanted that before.. not really