What I am Listening to: the pain inside my heart
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8:34 pm

just when you think you can't hurt anymore.. someone finds in you a new level a new depth of pain...

I know it may seem like a little thing over all it is just the start of many things to come.. I have a long talk the other day with my friend Dave and he asked me why are you asking like you are grieving and you don't even know anything yet.. this is why dave this is why this is how it starts... it always the little things...

I feel like I have been thrown away or into a corner really... it just hurt so much to mean so little to someone who you gave everything to..

I know I will never come first with him or anyone.. I can handle that.. but to mean nothing...

I could tell any of them that I am not feeling well and most will say sorry about that.. can I sit and worship you feet...not how can I help you feel better in a non-sexual way....

I love how slaves and subs tell me all the time how they want me to use them.. the irony in that is funny.. cause in truth and this is true for every Dom whether they admit it or not we are the Ones that get used....over an over an over again..

but sometimes you find that one, that one special one with who it is a exchange and it just beautiful...

or in my case you it for a while til they throw you away... to rot in pain