What I am Listening to: control~Puddle of mudd
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7:03 pm

ok you want to hear something that make no sence what so ever.. I had a dream about baby, and in the dream we met for the first time and he told me that he told me that he never wanted to go as deep as we have gone and he broke up with me.. I was so mad cause he was the one that wanted more and more..

now I know this was a dream and it was just my own fears coming out in my dreams.. but I was still mad for a few hours.. I know that makes no sence to be mad at someone cause of a dream.. but then it cause he has not called me or emailed me in now 5 dyas, now yes I know that it has been a lot of snow, but he still better have a really good reason for worring like this.. he know how the fuck I get, yes I know he has not left me cause he has made too many promise on that level and I have faith in him on that

but this thing in him that makes him want to drive me nuts.. oh for that he will pay, sometimes I don't think he knows how much I control myself with him.. I do a lot.. I have to.. it like a ache inside me at times this want and need of him.. to want all of his attention.. and yes I get a bit mad when I don't have it.. and no I am not like this 24/7 but...no i'm not going to share how much of the time I am like this... I know he had better contact me soon or he will pay no matter who fault it is weather family, that won't save him...