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12:09 pm

"Three rules of work:1. Out of clutter, find simplicity.2. From discord, find harmony.3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.__Albert Einstein

You know I have been doing some thinking and I realize I am have been afraid of my own power, not cause I don't have any but cause I have so much, and thought maybe I don't really deserve it.. but sometimes its not a matter about what one deserves or not, it about what and who you are, and taking the gifts you are given and using them that way they are meant to be used.

what does this have to do with anything.. well I was talking to Dave and even though we only talked for a short min I was telling him about baby and he said he is trying to make you jealous.. and oddly enough that had never crossed my mind cause to myself there was not reason to do that... but somethings have nothing to do with reason only feelings.. Dave also said why don't I just make him do what i want him to do... and I thought I had but in truth I hadn't cause part of me thought I couldn't but that is not true I could I just didn't do it... and here I was at my own wits ends cause he wasn't doing what I wanted him to do and all it really took was for me to truely be myself and just make him do it and just don't take the crap anymore cause oddly that is how I am with most anyone else... so its time for me to be truely me the me that my family knows the me that my close friends know.. who is super bossy and thinks most things should be my way cause I just plain know better than most...to be the me the is girly and bossy and controling and Domming.. not this doesn't mean I am not loving or sad or needy in my own way, but no more bottling up who I really am inside...

so be scared be very scared i'm a bitch and I am not longer going to take it anymore