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7:18 pm

ok I know I am talking about my diet too much.. I know I have issues... but hey I don't have much of a life right now, and I tend to be focus on things sometimes.... I know myself.. I am possesive and clingy and bossy on top of that.... it makes me a Domme, but I am finding that not all subs can deal with that or me... so I need something I can obsess about.. and not worry about being hurt.. or at least if I do something wrong it is only me hurting me I can live with that....

I think I learning to deal with the fact I am just a passing ship in a few lives... do I think anyone them will stay with me? no I don't.. I know right now I am in this waiting for the other shoe to drop mode, which of course means it won't, but the moment I forgot to think about that shoe I will hit me in the back of my head.... I am trying not to forgot the shoe.... I know there will be a shoe with tomtom.... with fave in a way that shoe has dropped, he goes back and forth on me all that time.. he doesn't leave, so I don't, but not always there either... but the tomtom shoe worries me some...why? cause they fit very well they are like that pair that you buy, and only wear sometimes, but one day they just break in, and then they are your favorite.. but you worry, will the straps last.. are the bottoms getting worn.... so you try to do little thing to help it last... but if you forget its over and there are gone and can't be fixed..... and I also have issues with shoes as well *sigh* I need a life