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3:34 pm

well this has not been a very good day subbie boy still hasn't called me I am not sure why..another one bites the dust.. all my friends keep saying just wait the right sub will come along.. but I more worried that maybe by the time he does I won't care anymore... it won't matter one way or the other..

you know its not that he left, I can handle that, its the being abandoned... just say something....beginning to think there is something wrong with me.. that makes people just up and leave and never say why... if it was the first or even that second time I could brush it off.. but its been too many time.. no goodbye or anything just gone.. even if it was just online I could brush it off, no it both... and people wonder what i don't play... what is the point.. I know who I am and I won't stop being what but...why bother getting close to anyone.. they only run away..*sigh*

well I brought my first whip today.. not that there is much point in it... but it felt good to do.. to have something that was mine if only a toy