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5:23 pm

ok I knew tomtom would be back to chat soon... *smile*... you know I can get busy with other things.. at times as cane him.. and then he will bring himself to my attention again... and I admit when I want his attention.. and want all of it.. which is his fault cause when he is in sub-mode I have his full and total attention.. and one can get greedy for that.... we were talking of meeting face to face.. which in a way is very very scary... not of him.. just of what could be there... but beyond that it is cause I have told him so much... he has not been as open as me in that.. I know... and don't think that cause I focus on myself a lot that it means I have not notice that

but beyond my very intriging chat today with him... I must say I feel good.. I am not emotional attached to anyone beyond friendship.. and that feels so good.. to be free... and I am start to only view myself though my own eyes.. and its not as bad as I thought... I like me again.. and I even playing... I have not gone into have full out sex yet, but right now as long as it comes with no strings.. and there is some attraction I am willing to think about it...

you know its funny now that I just want to be foot loose I am finding a lot that don't want that... I know that with me will change in time.. but think it will take someone proving that to me to change my mind on that... cause I know I just don't trust people anymore in that.... but oh well.. thats life