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10:44 pm

ok so I notice I never tell much about myself.. yeah I tell what is going on in my life and I tend to make that such a drama you don't always realized that you really don't know me... my friends tend to figure this out face to face early on, but the guys.. the guys never do.... now one could say they just don't bother to figure it out but I think in the end they think they do know me when in truth they realy don't.. to be honest not many do...

but I have decided that this is not a over all good thing.. course you will have to bother to read this to know it, so it is on you to do that much...

ok things you don't know.. I have a very twist sense of humor... and what I mean is like I was looking ebat for daggers and I saw a skull one withthe blade though a fack skull.. and almost got to just to see the looks on friend and family face when they came over and saw it.. and I would point out that I wouldn't have made such a buy if people would visit me more offend.... then giggle to myself over that.... I also brought a bunch of ting halloween stuff to put up for Yule (Xmas)

now this is not to say that I am a down person all the time in fact I am a romantic... now many ask how can y ou be a romantic and a Domme...

well just cause I'm a Domme and I only date subs and slaves that doesn't mean I never want to fall in love.... ok wait no I never do want to fall in love....but since over all we don't really have a big say in who we love.. it can be nice for that 5 to 10 mins til they screw it up.. til that its wonderful

ok another little bit of twistedness in my life my family, they don't know that I am a Domme , though I don't think they would be suprized by it either... and though they never visit me at my place and they only call when they want to talk about each other... Goddess help me if I try to like leave the city.. the act like I am never coming back.... like my trip to china,, there where little sub-plot to foil my trip....my dad is like Dr. Evil... and my sister is mini me.. and i'm Scott I see all the messups but not ont listens to me anyway...

but back tot he romantic part... I don't want any of you to think that just Cause I'm a Domme I don't like reg stuff... Sandra Bullocks movies are in my ten... her and Meg Ryan.. the old Meg not the new drama role one.... I love feel good movies... that and horror, which I have not seen one in a long time cause I won't go to them alone and I don't have anyone to go with anymore

the best gift I ever got from a guy was my cat Ivy... gift I have always wanted but never gotten a silver heart floating on a chain.. and that is another thing... I love jewelry.. that is like the best thing to get me.... it can even be a little charm always silver never gold....

mind you I don't think anyof of the boys will buy me a Yuletide gift.. hell they can't even remember my birthday.. well two did...

you know I really hate holidays.. everyone goes away and does their own thing.. and I am put back on a shelf like a forgotten toy.

you know that one question I have such a hard time answering all the time

Want do I want?

I want really really mean something to someone, and not just be the idea of what they see in thier own heads....

But I am not going to get into that again.. somethings are not mean to be..and I just have to live with that... i'm not doing so bad with it over all, one can get use to it