What I am Listening to: Fiona Apple
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9:03 am

well another day... my co-workers have it in for me.... and I have caved in so no more diet.. well not the strict part til Xmas is over... oddly though I have lost some more if I can not gain any of it back and just stay put I will be a happy camper... my boss has been in a very good mood, my niece come and visit me and my mother here at work sometimes.. did I mention that my mother works here too.... yeah but I have always gotten along with my mother so unlike some it not a problem.. plus I always have someone to eat lunch with and talk about everyone else to... anyway my Boss has been in such a good mood, I told her what dvd I was going to get for my nieces and she let me borrow her copy of it so I could watch it first wasn't that nice... though I am also one of the few on her staff that really get along with her the rest of them call her "Herr Fur" (Hitler)...she gets on my nerves too but she not all bad either.. plus me and her have been on the same diet...

I also wanted to thank wunofmany for her nice note that she left me and yes things are looking up.. though to be honest I think they are never really as bad as I make them out to be.. but when one is sitting in that middle of it and add lack of rest on top of that.. it can seem pretty bad...

There is this one sub that lives down under that I talk to that other day and he ask me about baby... and I told him that he wasn't being bad he had just been sick when most it seems don't really believe that for some reason but I know that he had a bad cough.. so it didn't suprize me that it got worst plus that flu as been reall bad here in the northeast and that he wasn't well when he called me that other day... but he said well i'm here you can use me.... I was taken aback at that... and wonder how many others think that any sub will do... how shallow of you to think that... it doesn't work that way... if all I wanted just just some playtime.. your right anyone would do.. but I can go to the club for that... but taking on one that you call your own.. that is like takeing a lover.. for those of us that Live this lifestyle it is just that.. so no one sub is not as good as another.. and I don't really like when subs offer to step into baby shoes while he is gone... one you can't.. you can't be him cause your not him.. and you can't step into Spin shoes or Tommy's.. or even little benny's.. it not what they do that makes them special to me.. it who they are as people.. and who they are.. matters a great deal... and nothing of them ever try to be anyone but themsevles to me with all their flaws and all and trust me they all have them... tommy is a workaholic.. with a very smart mouth and he loves to pick at me just to see if I will rise to the bait with most of the time I do and we fence all the time with words to the point it just gets to be fun.. and I miss him when I don't have him around to trade quips with...and then there is benny who is nervous and stutters just talking on that phone with me and is so sweet but loves it when I treat him like shit... and there is Spin who aggresive in his submission... and also tries to push sometimes he is such a brat *grin*.. and Jon I didn't forget him he likes to pretend that he is not sub... and but he is soo Upper crust Brit... one just wants to see how over the edge you can take him (he can go very far over)...and last but not least there is angel baby... who I know with out a doubt loves me and role playing with him is like living in that role... one is never really sure that it is one...

but he also knows I am human with ups and downs and somehow while still being sub... treats me like a reg person when I not in the mood for much else...

and there are also my friends Dave and mentor Joe and bodybuilder andy that I play with .. who was my friend long before we played and helped me a bunch with my diet.. dave who is my shink sometimes when I get down on myself... but who is a great hypno subject himself and Joe.. who took me under his wing when I was so green a Domme... and taught me more how one can be loving and still beat that hell out of them *grin*a giant teddy bear with the biggest heart... in fact if there are any subbie str women out there who would love a Dom guy who would be strict but would love you to death... let me know I will give you Joe's IM.. but that mean getting by me first he deserves the best....

so no not just any sub will do