What I am Listening to: Prof. talking about nothing
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2:15 pm

ok the other thing that happened last night was that baby called me... one of the few times he has truely suprized me with a call.. . other times I wanting to hear from him so bad I feel like I will him to call.. I emailed him and it seems it really got to him.. he is so addictive.. he would let me control so much of of his life.. what he eat and drinks and bathroom use... that kind of control can go to ones head...

in fact that reminds me of a chat a had the other day about the different things that turn people on I don't mean parts of the body this time I mean like fetishes....

Control over all is a big one but there other little sub groups that go with that.... such as pain I admit that I am a sadist... it is not something I do with everyone... for I want the sub I use it on to truely enjoy it.. also hypnosis is another big one for me... but there are draw back to that as well it can be over used.. and I never want to use one thing so much that I become lazy in the use tools...

somethings have suprized me in how much I like that and that I never would have thought it would be a turn-on for me... such as being MommyDiva to baby.. that I can do any kind of play is not a suprize but I didn't think I would like it so much... now granted I don't think I would like it with just anyone and part of that is baby himself on why I like it so much.. I find myself looking for more ways to make it deeper and take it farther.. baby says I keep him more on edge with that than anything else... it makes him crazy *grin*.... I think I like it cause in a way I get to be more myself.. my everyday self.. I know over all I like to have things my way.. who doesn't right.. yeah but I will work at getting my way.. not everyone does that... that I know of.. but what it also offers me and a way to be firm and soft at the same time.. I can be as loving a cute and silly as I please....

it is just something I would have never of thought that I would enjoy so much... but baby is a big part of why I do...

speaking of he thinks that a lot of the people that read about him here hate him.. and that is not true.. there are a few mostly other subs that are jealous of him and the position that he holds to me... which to be fair I am not sure why they are really... I would say that most of them don't go out of their way for me.. when I not talking to them I am not on their minds for that most part...

and this goes back to the earlier post about who is depended on who.....

he goes out of his to make me feel secure in my control of him if that makes any sense... which goes both to what I always said about trust working both ways