What I am Listening to: Depeche mode"Rush"
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10:44 am

well I could have spent the holiday obsessing over baby like I always do when I go a long time withou talking to him but oddly enough I didn't.. I not sure if that is a good thing or a bad one.. cause that could mean that when I do talk to him it will be super strong, or maybe it is just lessing over all which over all would be a good thing.. but would make me sad.. but as it has been almost two years over all I don't think it is going to go down..

I think that I have have been on my vampire thing big time.. and when I focus on something I really love I get it everything...

you know in a way I think that may be my appeal to a lot of the men I talk to.. I mean I think that see that in me and they all try to be that one that gets my focus that I turn my attention to... though when I am talking or playing with anyone them they have my focus... but I think that want the off time... for most of them that will take time.. baby is just one of those that is was just like that from that start.. but I think too that part of that it just him .. I mean that was just how he was into me so that is what i gave back...

but as to my vampire thing.. I think I lot of how my see my innerself is like a vampire.. I don't mean that bllod part.. but all that other stuff that those of us who think they are cool like about them.. that alure... they are sexy .. any if you think of it it not how they look that is sexy tho some have that too .. its that they know they are... in fact when I am having a good day that is how I like to think.. I mean I know this doesn't work with everyone and that is ok too.. but I like to think and be sure of my alure .. not doubt my appeal to those that at drawn to me.. and I act on that... now I know that all that may sound weird and just plain crazy but it works for me.. I know most people will say that there are no such thing as vampires.. and in a way they are right.. there aren't not in that way that most people think of them but yes they do exist... don't think that they don't... I am a witch... I have seen many things.. vampire are but one.. though very few of them know what they are.. that ones that do are... *smile*... in fact that is one thing I do know how to do... draw and use energy the way they do... that is a head rush