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9:25 am

ok I know this will sound weird but body builder sub his name nick name is Clark Kent... cause that is who he reminds me of.. not just in looks ..but that is there too.. but in a very under cover way... but under clark is all Lex luthor.. *wicked grin*.. trust me that is a good thing...he also helps me on my whole weight lost plan I have been on.. he has been a very good friend in that...has helped me and I will admit it now.. go from a size 26 to a size 16 now.. I want to be a size 12 and this last leg of my jouney is just going so fucking slow.... so not its time to start working out.. but I freaked out when I tried to go to that gym in my building last night.. I don't know why.. just got a cold ball of fear in my belly when I tried to go in there.. so I just went to my apartment and worked out to a tape.. til my knee gave out I think I will just have to get a bike for my place.. it so weird really I don't really like my body I admit that.. but i'm not shy about it.. and I am more covered up workingout than I am for most things I do, but I just couldn't do it

oh well oh another topic.. you know who I have been talking to more of late? tommy.. yes he has been poking his head in and out so to speak of which I am glad.. though to be honest I missed him so I did give him that suggestion to check in with me more... I do enjoy chatting with him.. any slipping him into trance... I do enjoy him a lot.. he is one of those I will meet face to face in that spring when I go to NYC... he drops like a stone

. also I did talk to baby yesterday.. and no its not lessing... it was just that I knew I would talk to him.. so I wasn't worried