What I am Listening to: billi holiday
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3:48 pm

ok I am feeling better today, granted I had a day of gorgeing myself on 4 mini candy bars.. I know that doesn't seem like a lot if one is pigging out, but for one that doesn't really eat sugar it was.. and I didn't feel so hot after doing it, I won't go into what set me off.. and I won't say I changed my mind on the things I came up with on those things, it is more I decided to just live with them and be happy with what I have instead of bemoaning on not having what I wanted...

on a side I wanted to say I HUGE thankyou to the the one that sent me a Xmas gift..Yule to me and I am sorry I didn't say so before hand, be I didn't know I had one until today as the office in my building only just put a not under my door telling me I had something to pick up there, they aren't this slow normally but maybe someone tore the note that goes on my mailbox that tells me this in a timely manner, but I do thank you very much, as no matter that I talk to so many men very very few ever send me gifts to day you are the second to do so.. so I cherish the thought that went behind you doing so.

Now as to what is going on now that the sun is back to shing I feel much more like myself it funny we forget how much we need the sunlight til we don't have it.. I don't ever want the winter bluse this bad again... but I feel myself coming fully out of it.. and I can go back to myself..

Speaking of which and maybe I have been watching too many movies but I have decided that in my own Sadiist Dominant little heart to be a Modern day Courtesan in fact when I redo my diary site when I will after the contest that will be my new theme... why that you might ask.. cause I feel in truth that is what I am.. it isn't what I set out to be.. but them I don't think the ones of old set out to be that either.. but when things came to past they accepted what they were.. plus my friends didn't like the other word I was useing.. for myself and courtesan has a nicer ring to it.. but I think a rose is a rose no matter the pretty name you put on it... my best friend she thinks I am a bit depressed but that is not so.. I just saw my life for what it really was and have accepted that.. i'm an not ashamed of who I am or what I do if I was I could do it.. but I know thatis not whole true for most but it is for me... well I have some cds to burn for my sister show she is putting on for black history month.. so I must get to that and I will leave the updates on how baby is doing til next time...