What I am Listening to:
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6:44 pm

ok I know baby was here and since he is taking such great joy in upsetting me of late.. so I am going to save that for him when I talk to him again...

so now I will post a post a post I found on Forums at bondage.com.. that was so so erotic but all Domes that read it agreed that its not topping from that bottom... though many would see it that way... but those of us that deal more in that real life of it know better... and some subs I know need to read this and I hope to learn a bit from it....

"No, I don't mean submissives/slaves....I mean Tops.

I want to take a moment to touch on a topic thats been troubling me lately and hopefully see some insights on the subject. What I am about to express is of course, strictly my own point of view.

Over the past few months I have had the pleasure of becoming friends with several Dominants and submissives/slaves that I respect quite a bit (You know who you are) and have broached this subject with several of them, the response was definately not what I was expecting.

To understand I need to take a trip down memory lane here to a summer 7 years ago, four years into my relationship with my first Master. After a night of intensity, I woke in the morning and observed Him sleeping. He's mentioned a few things in passing over the prior couple weeks that fueled my actions that morning.

I bound His hands gently with silk scarves to the bed frame in such a manner that he could release himself easily, then set about waking Him in the most exquisite ways I could imagine....oral, ice cubes, feathers you name it, no pain of course, just sensual torment. for well over an hour I tormented his flesh into ultra sensitivity, as he had done to me on so many occassions. He made no move to untie Himself, though he too saw that he easily could, no, this was for a very specific purpose. I tormented and pleased him until he was a writhing madman, straining and completely mindless in His absolute need to take and conquer. With a dark voice he said "Release Me" which i did, immediately and what followed next was probably the wildest, most intense, completely out of control sex I have ever experienced. He was like a man possessed, driven with a fire and lack of self control that drove us both over the edge. The mutual shared loss of control was insanely intense. He was very very rough, but i presevered, and it was well worth it.

The idea had been based on the knowledge that I could take whatever was unleashed, and we both needed for him to feel that ultimate release, that loss of control, and in my mind, my own ultimate submission, because whatever was unleashed, i had no option but to take, for I myself had driven Him to this madness. It was probably the most insanely intense moment of my life.

I have long had a desire to repeat a similar scenario, but when I mention it, the reaction is usually stunned and horrified, taken aback and shocked. So many seem to think that this is topping from the bottom, but how is it such, when I did it to please Him, He could untie Himself at will, and knew i would release Him at His command? That he was tied is irrelevant, it was more symbolic then anything, for he could release Himself at will and be released on command, cage the tiger, tease it till it is out of control, then unleash it.

The reactions I have gotten in general discussion seem to indicate a lack of trust, very nearly fear of the concept of it all, which startled and stunned me...for if i, as a slave, am required to trust my (future) Master implicitly in sexual matters, should He not hold that same trust for me? I dont see it as personally taking control or topping from the bottom, as I mentioned, because in the end, all the cards rest in His hands.

I cannot help but wonder, am I missing something? For me there are two types of control....mental and sexual. For all things He has control in the end, but should He not be allowed to know the same freedom in losing control sexually, that gift He gives to me every time? Or am I just horribly misguided? For me, this aspect, its not about topping or bottoming, its about sexual release. And as a woman, I can honestly say there is nothing quite so erotic as feeling a Man lose Himself in His absolute need to take you, till it feels like He is almost trying to crawl inside you and merge with your very flesh and soul. To me that could never be a bad thing.

I would love to hear points of view on this...all points of view :)"