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3:49 pm

you know what I have no right.. no right at all to be so unhappy

you know as I write that I think, that is not really true...

first why am I unhappy, cause that plain simple fact is I want baby...no I know I should be a bigger person and have more morals and just let him go.. but i'm not and I can't really be reasonable on this.. and I know I should be.. I can't do it I have tried more than once I give up I can't be reasonable about him and I'm not going to try anymore.. and yes he belongs to someone else right now.. but his soul is mine it will always be mine...

but the reason I was feeling like i had not right was that I have one guy in london who told me he tattooed his ass with slut-boy for me to prove his devotion.. and another in london that told me he would fly here and stay as long as I wanted him to to prove his......and there are a few other lesser...

I thought that and said you have no right to be unhappy... but then I have not met either of them one has never called me.. and I don't really know if he got that tattoo or not...

baby was real he called me almost everyday.. just to hear my voice... he would call me if I was shopping, and it was like he was in my pocket...

he really has no idea how much out of my way I went just so he could reach me at anytime...but he is my baby.. and I can't be mommy with no baby

so I won't give her the power to make me give him up when she couldn't even keep him from seeking me.

and I have decided that my lip piercing will be dedicated to baby