What I am Listening to:
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11:58 am
well I have just had the worst news, i'm not sure how to take it... baby is going away.. I don't know if it is for good, my friend tells me its not.. and as much as I very much so want to believe her.. i'm not sure if I do... cause bad things like this always happen to me... so this would run true to form for about my life... and course on top of all of that my boss is tripping cause I'm on that phone freaking out to my best friend and she is trying to calm me down... even Diva inside of me is freaking out... I had to make a deal with her to pierce something.. ok two somethings.. I know that doesn't sound sane... but trust me its the better of what she wanted to do I can live with a hole in my lip
hey on that upside this should be really good for my diet... cause the thought of food is just gross...
but the thought of putting a ballpoint pen into my boss's back... oh thta is a picture.. that bring a smile of joy... if that gives anyone idea of where my head is at... its a bit like going crazy... but knowing you can't really do that in front of people... cause then that men in white coats come and take you away...
you know oddly I always knew I cause get this crazy.. why I always tried to keep a distance even when I feel things.
I guess I am more like my father minus the drug abuse than I like to see...
I feel very very lost right now.. not sure what to do.. not that there anything I can do.. does that mean I have given up.. no i'm too I don't know how to put that into words...
just that he is mine, doesn't matter if he likes it, doesn't matter if I like it.. it just is, it won't be changed or stopped.. so I can never give up not truely...
but I will not wish hateful things on my boss
but I will not wish hateful things on my boss
but I will not wish hateful things on mbut I will not wish hateful things on my boss
if I write it enough I can get the picture of her place to New Zealand going down in flames while I watch, out of me head...
I will be a good pagan
I will be a good pagan
I will be a good pagan
I will be a good pagan
but I didn't cry.. it was there but I didn't course my empathic friend cried for me.. that doesn't help it was her told me things aren't what they seem. and I want so very badly to believe her... that just by will alone I can make it true... but my luck has never been good