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11:45 am

ok bodybuilder guy really suprized me I brought up some topics for play some I think I would have never thought he would be into... things that for that most part I know only baby to have been interested in... not that there is anything wrong with it, in fact I quite like that idea I just never thought he would want to do any of those things with me... I'm not good at hanging on to subs... so it seems

well I think I am becoming body obsessed.. my working out everyday doesn't seem to be doing much I am thinking of doing it twice a day.. I think I have the biggest hips and I just plain hate my body it seems I'm getting smaller but just just a over all smaller bellying is still there and my big ass hips no real shape changing.. you know I think I have this wierd thing in my head that if I can just change my body that things will go better for me dum huh? yeah I know but I find its really the only thing I have a handle on I can only really control myself.. my body (working) and my diet that is that best.. I don't even do some of the little cheating things I use to do... I do try not to let myself be hungry for too long.. but that can go away after a while.. and then you can just eat what you set out for yourself to eat and no more.