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2:29 pm

I always read and sometimes post things on that forums at B.com and every so often I find something worth share with the people here... tips on seeking a female Domme as told by a Male Dom that was in a relationship with one in a vanilla way... read a learn

Okay gentlemen - here's the lowdown from a male Dom who was in a long relationship with a female Dom (as an equal partner - non D/s) who watched the process she went through in searching for male bottoms.

1. Female Dommes get approached by male tops all the time (telling them they will switch for the right man) They are sick of it and will very quickly drop an e-mail to the trash if they get a hint of that scent from you.

2. Female Dommes also get approached by lots of "I'm a lowly little worm please degrade me from the start so I can jerk off to your response" e-mails by male bottoms. It's insulting to be used as spank material until that has been given to you - as a gift, from her.

3. Many female Dommes are just that, Domme. Not switch. Asking them to switch, when they make it clear they do not, just so you can get off, is rude. Same for expecting they will dress up just for you. Female Dommes don't walk around all day in high heels and corsets (sad but true boys). Dommes, like male Doms dress how they want when they want. Don't expect them to be a barbie fantasy for you. That's your job for them.

4. Most Female Dommes I know HATE looking for male subs. So get off your meek ass and approach them. Do it respectfully, with humility but also with confidence. Have pride in yourself that you have a lot to offer her and to make her happy. Let her know you intend to give her your best service.

In that, if you see a Domme in public (party or whatever) and she's looking at you, APPROACH HER. She's looking at you for a reason. Humbly show your confidence by asking if there is anything you can do to serve her. you might get invited to be used as a footstool, or a fuck toy, if you're very lucky and play that confidence just right. DO the work. She's a Domme, she shouldn't have to.

5. Read her ad fully. I repeat: READ HER AD FULLY! Nothing more annoying (dont know how many boys got trashed because they failed here....) than having a sub approach you who is obviously clueless to what the ad says. If there is something that you and her are not a match on - POINT IT OUT, and then comment how you intend to fix that situation for her. It shows you have the brains to put some effort into the response.

6. Use spell check. Sure the occasional typo is going to happen. No big deal. But if you respond "I lik 2 fuk alot. I r a goode sube" you're headed straight for the trash can. And don't think I'm making it up - I've seen lots of those. Sheesh.

7. (this applies to male and female subs) Know what you want. Nothing worse in conversation, at the start, than hearing "you can do anything you like". Duh! Of course a Domme/Dom can. We don't ask that question to hear ourselves talk. We'll do what we like, but how do we know what a good reward is if you don't speak up and tell us. It's no fun to play with someone who's only doing what they minimally get something out of all the time. If you don't like flogging, but put up with it - then we might do your favorite -nipple torture (which may be medium fun for us - but becomes fun to see you react) as a reward for your service. We can't read minds. So get out of fantasy land that the "right" Domme/Dom will "just know". That's just a stupid load of Bullshit.

8. Many female Dommes DO like sex. The one I was with loved it. Can't get enough from male subs. Sadly most forget that she expects to be served there. Even if you like your balls busted blue - be ready that you might be expected to get her off plenty before that happens. Where's the fun for her if you have a limp swollen toy that she can't get off from. Sure you might like it - but no treat for you until she's gotten her cookies!

9 Finally, GROW SOME BALLS! Nothing is more a turn off than a sub with no self confidence. you may be a worthless, pathetic, weeping worm - but be HER worm. Not just a worm to everyone. Be proud of yourself in serving her and for her. Show her you work hard to be good and strong to serve her better. If any girl walking along can put you to the ground, then where is she special in getting to do that? Breaking a weak sub is just too easy. The honor and fun of breaking a strong, intelligent and capable submissive, who does it for you out of respect, caring, and desire - well, there's the big "HOT" button. Impress her. Big Big points for you. (fem subs would do well to follow this as well - um, growing a backbone, I mean).

10. If you're a 50 yr old balding fat sub who doesn't keep himself clean and neat, is missing teeth, and rarely uses soap - Expect that the cute little 5ft hottie 27 yr old Domme is probably going to pass you up. It just won't happen guys.

(and I say this also because Ive seen it happen. Sheesh - what are some men thinking???)

And there's My public service work for the week.

Monster