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6:38 pm

ok I free so much better now I wrote in my other journal that one I don't let anyone read and just poured out my heart and feelings

pain

anger

sadness

grief

and love

one so deep it just rips me up from time to time, but i'm real about it its one I know I can't really have so I enjoy what part of it that I got cause I rather have a little then nothing, but the little bit is more than than most whole.. and its a rare thing for it to me offered to me

but I very honest with myself I think it rare for anyone cause I that I won't throw it away cause I can't have it all but sometime I do need to vent even if no one reads it or listens I write for myself cause I need to, not cause anyone wants to read it just cause I need to say it if only to myself.. *smile* sometimes I have no choice but to put up with myself

anyway these are someone the things I learned in NYC... you can talk to some people even though most New Yorkers will tell you not to, but you miss that best stuff that way... if you don't carry a camara around you don't look like a tourist.. I'm pretty to good looking men in NYC un-like cleveland where I blend into the wood work.. that subway will make you cranky and it hot as fuck down there...if I lived in NYC I would be in great shape just for all those stairs....

but as much as I am a city girl I am also very midwest as well, eating out all that time I get sick of it fast and I really want to cook..

and in that city its all about looking good, but here in ohio we party harder... but then I have only been to one party there and that is not much to base things on...